Christmas Capers
by SerenBunny
Summary: Its the first day of December - only a few more to go before Christmas vacation! But for Ned, there are still a few loose ends to tie up...dealing with new teachers, finding the best gift and saving Cookie from from Evelyn Qwong, the usual stuff ya know.


Christmas Capers.  
New Teachers.

* * *

Monday morning, the first day of December.

* * *

"They're only a few weeks left of school before we break for winter vacation, so here's some tips." Ned Bigby explains as he walks down the corridor, bundled up in a thick padded jacket, dark blue jeans, woolly hat and mitts. "Find out if there are any tests or reports due before or after you break, find out when your meeting with your friends to exchange gifts or not, and make sure you find the perfect gift for your family."

"Ned!" Coconut Head yells as he runs up to him. "I spent all my allowance at the arcade and only have ten bucks left! I need tips on cheap presents!"

"If you don't have a lot of cash, try and make something. Use the schools high cheer and lack of care in class to make a nice card in art, sweater in sewing club, photo frame in wood shop – anything. And don't forget, try asking your parents for an advance, and use the 'I want to get you something even better' trick. Or even explain to your friends that you don't have much to spend on them, and get a few edible nick knacks. That always works."

"Thanks Ned!" Coconut Head says as he writes it down. "Hey did you hear about the new teacher?"

"New Teacher? What!"

* * *

_Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. How to survive:_ New Teachers.

* * *

"Yeah didn't you read the announcement board? We walked passed it like then times last Friday alone." Jennifer Ann 'Moze' Mosley replied as she and Simon Nelson-Cook 'Cookie' made their way to their best friend. "Or listen to the morning announcements?"

"Another tip, if you school has a bulletin board, check it daily, or if they make daily announcements, take note! What?! When?!" Ned shouts, and then turns around to see everyone polishing apples, smartly dressed and practising nice smiles. "Oh man, I gotta get some help! Cook! Who's the new teacher?"

"All we've been told is—""I don't CARE what we've been told, what's on the system?" "You want me to hack in to the school system?"

Ned's eye twitched. "I don't want to make a repeat of Sweeny."

The three turn and look down the corridor, a memory replaying in their minds.

_A younger Ned makes his way to science class, where he accidently bumps into Sweeny._

_"Whoops! Sorry, teach! Didn't see ya there!" Ned smiles. "Is this Science with Mister Sweeny?"_

_"Why yes, yes it is." Sweeny smiled. "Although I think you need to go to English One oh one!"_

"Sweeny wasn't that bad—""What about Dirga? And our first English teacher that I drove to early retirement? Admit it, every teacher here hates me, I gotta get in the new teachers good books! So search cook, search!" "I'm searching, I'm searching!"

Cooks computer glasses come to life. "All I have is a name, Robertson, recently graduated, teaching English and is the lunch time school councillor."

"If your schools as cheap as our, then they may make teachers double up on jobs, so find out if you have someone for a lot of classes, and try to keep on their good side." Ned speaks to the fourth wall, and then turns back to Cookie. "What else?"

"That's it! I'm being blocked by Crubbs! And the Weasel for some strange reason." The smart boy replied, and then flicked the computer section off. "Anyway, we better get to class, we've got English next, so don't worry Ned."

"That's it! Cookie, Moze, gimmie tips!" Ned smiles and hands them the book.

"Erm, okay." Cookie starts, then pauses as Ned moves his face to face an invisible audience. "Start off by being prepared, and early."

"Make sure you're in the right class and make them feel welcome." Moze says as they step towards the class, passing those who had apples, welcome and good luck cards in their hands. "But not _too_ welcome." They pass Martin who is holding a large box of Coconut crèmes and a huge bunch of flowers.

"Try talking with any teachers that you are friendly with, or Janitors, as they may have some information that might help you." Gordy jumps in and walks with them. "Like the new teacher is female."

"Or you could search for them online." Cookie adds and they stopped outside the door. "Or find someone who's been in their class and ask them for pointers."

"But most important of all." Moze spins Ned to look at her. "Be yourself!"

"Wow, guys, I feel better all ready!" Ned's smiles, then frowns. "Oh man, that means it's going to be horrible!"

The bell goes and the door opens, Moze and Cookie push Ned inside the classroom and take seats together but near the middle.

Once everyone is in the class a female figure walks in, wearing black trousers, black top and her long brown hair with blonde highlights in a ponytail. Her pale colour attracts the class to her face, noting the calm smile and shinning blue green eyes. She steps to the desk before smiling a bit more and walking around to the front, sitting carefully on the desk.

Her mouth opens to speak, but the door is interrupted by Crubbs, who barges in.

"Ah ha! I knew it!" He declares, before wiping off his glasses and pointing them at her. "You're too soft!"

"Actually Vice Principle Crubbs I was just explaining to the future inmates of the correctional facilities what my 99 sure fire rules are for an educational class." She speaks her frown and voice showing a dark foreboding. "Thank you very much for showing them what happens to someone who barges into my class room unannounced. You have detention, tonight, with me."

"You can't give me a detention—" Crubbs stops as she stands, crosses her arms and glares before she speaks. "Are you undermining my authority in front of the students?"

Crubbs opens his mouth to speak, then closes it before walking out the door. She rolls her eyes and sits back on the table.

"Okay, where to start?" She smiles. "I guess a Q and A would help, followed by some rules, then some teaching, everyone okay with that?" Silence, but a few nods from the back encourage her. "Okay, who wants to start?"

Martin raises his hand, she nods to him. "Hi, I'm Martin and, erm, I-just-wanted-to-wish-you-good-luck-and-hope-you-have-a-wonderful-time-here-at-Polk."

"Thanks Martin." Again, she smiles. "Okay, you guys can call me Miss Boyce outside class or in, but inside you can also call me Kimberley, since I still need to get used to being all teachery. Any more questions?"

"How old are you?" "Where do you come from?" "How did you get Crubbs to back off?"

"I'm twenty five, I'm from Scotland, mostly from Glasgow, and that's Vice Principle Crubbs to you lot. No teacher will be disrespected in my class room, even if they are overbearing pig headed snorks." She scoffed. "But it's all about the bluff, and I'll tell you more about that as time moves on. Although I need to say something serious now."

"This'll be where she lays down the law and after our false sense of security she turns out to be worse than Sweeny." Ned mumbles to Cookie.

"This class is English. There will be no math questions, talk of wood shop or any other class work done, unless its written." She started cryptically. "I came from a school which was quite different from this one, and here are my rules and regulations. I've been 'informed' by our lovely vice principle about each and every one of you, about your most hideous secrets, exploits and weaknesses. But the one thing you have to understand is that when it comes to English, it's the understanding in today's language. I will give you all respect, because so far none of you have lost it."

Standing Miss Boyce makes her way to the window and closes the blind a bit so it stops blinding Evelyn. "I have a different approach than most teachers. Nice day, we can go outside, any problems you have, come and talk with me. If I give you a detention, you'll be told why, it'll be fair, and I'll be the one carrying out the punishment decision making. At the beginning of each month, or on the first Monday class I will hand out the homework assignments. All I ask is you do them, hand them in, and try not to fall asleep."

Ned and Moze look to each other, then elbow Cookie to wake him up.

"Under no circumstances, and I mean NO circumstances, will bullying of any kind be tolerated, either in my presence, my class room, or this school." Her eyes turn to Loomer and his mates. "With that, I can honestly say I hope you guys can see me as a friend, and hope that if you have any problems, you can speak to me. Any questions?"

No one said anything.

"Okay, who knows the song on the first day of Christmas?" She asked, looking around them all, nodding to Lisa as she put her hand up. "Cool, do you want to come up and write the things on the board? Once Lisa finishes, I want you guys to make them into a card, that's what we'll be working on today. Starting tomorrow we'll be working on essays and writing structures, but today's all about fun."

* * *

Forty minutes later, a few minutes before the class was due to ring Miss Boyce called for the classes' attention. "You're homework for the week will be to write and introductory essay, any length but please, no two paragraph answers, and no books! Just who you are, what you like doing, that kind of thing. Also, Billy Loomer, stay behind please."

The bell rang as everyone packed up and raced to their next class.

"Aww man, whatever they said, I didn't do it." Loomer moaned as he came up to her desk.

"On you go guys, he'll be a few minutes." She motioned for his two friends to leave. "So Billy, can I call you Billy?" He nods, unsure what he's done wrong. "VP Crubbs had a few things to say about you, so I must reiterate a few points from my earlier presentation. You have a clean slate, I don't tolerate bullies and my door is always open."

Loomer blinked, then wondered what her hidden agenda was.

"If anything gets too much for you, use this." She continues and hands him a dark blue laminated card. "Pass this to your teacher, then come and find me. I'll either be here, or the computer labs. We'll work through what makes you so angry and hopefully get you together with miss Mosley. And drop the surprised guppy look, I saw you staring at her today."

Her smile slowly faded.

"One thing VP Crubbs said was you had a hard home, I can relate, so if you ever want somewhere to sit after school to do some homework or chill out, you can come here, I can organise a few fake detentions and even give you a ride home. But only if you want." She smiled again, making Loomer confused with all the different moods she had. "School may be boring, but it is necessary and will shape you. Don't waste it, and don't let others put you down. Now c'mon, I'll walk you to class."

"Miss Boyce?" He asked, just before they came to Sweeny's science class. "Can I have a detention? And, erm, thanks."

She nods, drops the smile, and raps on the door. "Mister Sweeny, sorry to bother you, but this ruffian belongs to you?"

"Why yes, yes he does! De—" "Actually I've already given him detention, for, you know, the usual." "Nice to see we have a teacher here whose not afraid to throw the book at certain trouble maker students." "We'll I'll let you get back to your teaching."

* * *

Later at lunch, Ned, Moze and Cookie watched as Miss Boyce made her way towards the lunch line, happily talking with Lisa who was asking her something about the assignment, pausing only as the lunch lady told her to be on the lookout for fuzzy eights and new beginnings.

"It's in the beans hun!"

"I can't believe she gave us homework. Like on her first day!" Ned exclaimed. "Who does she think she is!"

"I know." Moze relied in mock outrage. "Is she a teacher or something? Wanting us to better ourselves and make learning fun."

"What you talking about Mosley?" Ned asked, eyes squinting.

"Hey!" Loomer picked him up by the back of the neck. "You better not be dissing Miss Boyce!"

"Boys, is there a problem?" Sweeny asked as he walked past.

Both boys mumbled a quick nothing and separated.

"I'll be watching you Bigby, and keep your thoughts to yourself." Loomer threatened as he walked away.

Evelyn Qwong made her way towards Cookie, who 'eeped' and ducked under tha table. "HEY! WHEN YOU SEE COOKIE, TELL HIM I NEED TO SEE HIM ABOUT OUR SOCIAL STUDIES PROJECT, GOT IT!"

"I got it!" Ned agreed.

"Oh man, the Social Science Project!" Cookie groaned. "I totally forgot about that!"

"Remember to check your diary and note books for when things are due." Ned suggested. "What do you need to do for it?"

Cook let his head hit the desk. "Print it off, but the computer labs booked solid!"

"Hey guys, I'm going to go ask Miss Boyce something, I'll be back soon." Moze said as she stood up. "See you guys in our next class."

* * *

Moze stopped just outside Miss Boyce's class as she heard a scream. A very loud, female scream.

"Hey Moze what's—" Gordy paused as the scream returned, but shriller this time. "What's the noise?"

"Its Miss Boyce, and it sounds like something's attacking her!" Moze shouted and pushed him towards the classroom door. "It could be the Weasel!"

"Weasel!" Gordy growled then burst the door down, a brush in his hands, eyes darting around the room before spotting Miss Boyce standing at the back corner of the room, a dozen or so spiders crawling on the ground below her.

"HELP!" She screamed, tears falling.

By this time a large group of people had gathered, Loomer, his mates along with Cookie and Ned making their way towards the front of the crowd.

"Another thing to do with new teachers." Ned notes. "Don't pull pranks until you know what won't give them heart attacks."

Gordy made quick work with the spiders, then frowned at the bottom of his broom and the mess on the floor. "Er, I'll let the night guy get that..."

"Alright, nothing to see here, get back to class." "Its lunch." "Just get out of here!" Crubbs demanded and turned into the classroom where both he and Gordy helped Miss Boyce from the counter. "Are you okay Miss Boyce?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks to..." She paused, looking at Gordy's nameplate. "Gordy. Thanks."

"Think nothing of it!" Gordy replied with false bravado in his voice. "Say, I've never seen you around here before?"

"Oh, I'm new." She smiled. "Kimberley Boyce."

"Gordy." Gordy replied, and both looked into each other's eyes before Crubbs began speaking, breaking them off.

"So Miss Boyce, how are you finding my school?" He asked, putting his arm around her back, not noticing her jump forward.

"It's very nice, although some of the students need a lot more discipline that is currently being given. Like that Loomer boy." Miss Boyce rolled her eyes inwardly at his very happy face. "But perhaps you will give me time to freshen up before we meet in the staff room?"

"Of course." He smiled, glared at Gordy and the kids, then left.

With a sigh, Miss Boyce rubbed her face then looked to Moze, Ned and Cookie. "Hey guys, what's up?"

"HEY COOKIE! YOU PRINTED OUR SOCIAL STUDIES PROJECT?!" Evelyn shouted from the doorway.

"About that, erm, the computer labs booked solid and—" Cookie 'eeped' as Evelyn stepped forward.

"And he came here to use mine." Miss Boyce came to the rescue.

"OH. Oh." Evelyn said, then walked away.

* * *

At the end of the day, the gang – Ned, Moze, Cookie, Lisa and Gordy – stood talking about the new teacher at Ned's locker.

"I like her. She seems to know what she's talking about in class, and she helps us kids out." Moze shrugged and pulled her backpack straps closer.

"She's great! Did you guys see how she saved me from Evelyn?" Cookie asked, still shocked and amazed, an awe inspired look in her face.

"I think it's great she knows how to play Vice Principle Crubbs and the other teachers. Did anyone notice how she was mean when they were around but nice with us?" Lisa added.

"Yeah, it was pretty cool when she gave Loomer a detention." Ned agreed, then looked to the camera. "The most important thing about new teachers, is give them a change, no matter what others tell you."

* * *

Thank you for reading this far, please review or PM me and tell me if I should continue with another chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognise from the Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide show from Nickelodeon, only Kimberley Boyce. Use her if you wish.


End file.
